I feel like I am in a witness protection program...

NOT that I would ever know what being in one feels like.

A very hard part of this divorce is that I have to watch myself around a huge portion of my "friends" out here since they are all also friends with the A-hole.  As their friend, I don't want to put them in a position where they have to watch what THEY say around the A-hole... so in turn, I feel like I can't tell them anything that is going on with me...
BUT... thanks to blogger, changing my blog address is as easy as finding a name that isn't already used but that still reflects the original name I came up with years ago.  I'd better stop changing the name because it's just getting harder and harder.  HA!

Anyway... the very few of you that got the "change of address" are my loyalists anyway.  I doubt anybody cares as much as I do... HA!

Oh, in other news... I am getting two new molars because apparently I am so stressed out that I ground my real ones down into nubs.  Sweet.  There goes my tax refund!

Peace out.

Holiday Wrap Up

ahhh... if you know me then you know about my tumultuous relationship with two certain people in my life.  This holiday season did not disappoint.  Some highlights:

• when I was in the garage, one said person told my 3 year old that I was gone and not coming back.  That's a great example of some FINE parenting!
• the other said person got entirely pissed off when I asked said person to grill up some turkey burgers for the 3 kids in attendance for xmas eve dinner.  "It was not planned" he said.  This is whilst I have spent the WHOLE day cooking up a special xmas eve dinner.  The rest of the evening was completely clouded by his bad mood and attitude.  My friend and I were very uncomfortable the rest of the evening.  Thanks for a GREAT xmas eve!
• one said person, who happened to get an ipad for xmas (I gave it early b/c I was so excited to give it) ignored the kids from the moment said ipad was opened.  Nice.
• other said person fed their dog bites of everything from their plate, but lost his mind when my 2 year old gave the dog a cracker.
• same said person cared more about the bowels of said dog more than having fun with children.

Why does ANY of this surprise me?  I'm not, it's just that time after time I have hope that "this time" will be different.  WRONG again!  

This year my goal is to stand up more to the insanity and only worry about my kids and myself.  When will I learn?  Am I able to get away from it without causing world war 3?  

On another note.

I am proud to say that I have wrapped up (technically tomorrow will be the last day) 41 weeks of project life (I started late, but once I started I kept going) and plan to start a fresh year of PL with 2013. It's a really great and EASY way to document your life and hardly takes any time at all, but the results are so cool.  If you want to know more, just let me know.

On yet another note...

My "one little word" for 2013 is going to be FRESH.  Unless I think of a better one in2 days.

• FRESH start
• FRESH new attitude
• eat more FRESH and natural vs. processed foods
• FRESH beginning to a new chapter in my life.
• FRESH.

What's YOUR "one little word?"

I've had many thoughts...

It's been awhile, I know... but don't be scared... I haven't stopped thinking... I seriously just don't have time.  I don't know where these wonder-women find the time to take care of kids, work full time, clean the house, cook, do laundry and BLOG!  And especially during this time of year, where you add Christmas shopping to that list.  Oh, did I mention SLEEP?  I'm one of THOSE people that actually NEEDS sleep.  I function best on 8 hours.

I spent all day yesterday cleaning the freaking house.  The right way.  You know, floorboards and fan blades, and well, you know.  I am pooped!  I haven't even finished.  I have one more bathroom to do.  And I am procrastinating by blogging.

I actually took a mental health day today.  I TRULY do have this killer headache, but I needed some sleep.  UGH.  But I am up now and will attack that bathroom, and the 976 other things on my to do list.

One of my "thoughts" included this errand I ran last weekend (I do think about this blog all of the time)...

I am a recycler.  Besides helping the Earth, I like money.  And guess what?  Recycling can make you money!!

See...

don't even start on my Diet Pepsi addiction or bottles water thing.  I KNOW, I KNOW.  One thing at a time, ok?

I'm. SO. Tired.

I love my monkies and all, but if they don't stop waking up at 4 a.m. or sooner, I may be forced to sell them to the gypsies.  Just sayin'.

?QUE?

I have some Spanish neighbors that live across the street from me who always smile and wave when I see them. I always smile and wave back but I truly always wanted to yell “Hola!” to them like I see people do on television and in movies. HOWEVER, other than the basic.... and I mean BASICS... I suck at Spanish. I'm ever so slightly better than the average non-Spanish speaking gringo, only because I had a Mexican nanny for my boys for about 6 months and I was forced to communicate with her SOMEHOW if I wanted my kids to eat... so I learned a few more words, but I KNOW my grammar is awful. Soooo...I’m pretty self-conscious about speaking any foreign language in public. All this changed the other day when I OD'd on sleeping "aids" and NyQuil and I went out to my car to get something and I looked across the street just as my neighbor was walking to his car. I threw caution to the wind, threw up my hand and yelled “HOLA!” He smiled, threw up his hand and said “Hello! How are you?” I thought for a second and I yelled “Beuno! Beuno!” I. Was. On. Fire. I started thinking that maybe I’d move to New York and get a job at the United Nations as a translator.

I then quickly blurted out ”Feliz Navidad!” just like in that song. He said “Merry Christmas!” I just kind of stood there thinking while he stood beside his car. I was all out of Spanish because my Ambien-soaked mind could not come up with “adios” and all I could think of was #5 from my favorite Mexican restaurant, ”chimichanga” and I knew that couldn’t be right. He stood there waiting, because I’m pretty certain I had my mouth open like I was going to say something and then it hit me- WAIT. Is he even Spanish?! FUCK NO. The Spanish people live in the house beside him!

So I said “Umm, okay, goodbye” and quickly turned and ran into the house.

Happy 2012

O.M.G.

Seriously. I know it’s been a heck of a long time since I last blogged but these last few weeks/months have been a whirlwind! I can’t believe the holidays have come and gone. HAPPY 2012 everybody!

I am thankful for my healthy, happy family and what a great holiday we all had. The boys were spoiled… no surprise and I got to see my family back in Michigan. I haven’t “home” for Christmas in at LEAST 10 years. It was so cool!
The boys met their cousins and enjoyed playing with the. They enjoyed their first experience with snow. I think they had a blast.
We had a small hick-up in coming home (San Diego, home) from Michigan when we got to Denver. We knew we had a 4 hour layover, but we didn’t know that 4 hours would turn into 48 hours. It was an adventure to say the least and we survived it! It is good to be back to a normal routine and our own beds! We kicked off the new year in a bad way, so it can only get better from here, right?

Here’s to a great 2012. Good things are on the horizon… I can feel it! Let’s Go already!

crazy + catch up

Ahhh… life has been crazy as of late so I have a LOT to catch up on.

Let me start back (it seems like forever ago) to when I did the Nike Women’s Half Marathon. One thing I look forward to every year. Despite a little set-back where my pal was made to cancel her trip due to a work situation (still a sore subject) I went and had a grand old time. The same routine (I do love a good routine), the same shops, the same trolley, the same race (but always exciting) and a different piece of bling to add to my collection. This was my 8th year and I plan to do it every year until I am dead.

Oh, wait, before that my baby boy turned 1!!! How could I not cover that first? Shit, I probably sound like a horrible mother. But YES! My baby boy JackJack turned 1. Me oh my. We had a celebration and my pops flew out for the occasion and it was a very busy weekend but lots of fun. I can’t believe it’s been a year. It HAS flown by so quickly. He is my 2nd and LAST baby… so I’m a wee bit sad about the not having a baby around, but I am a WHOLE LOTTA happy to sleep more than one does with a baby in da house! He does not sleep through night quite perfectly, so I still try to cherish the times when he allows me to rock him. Those days will be gone too quickly, I know.

OK… A major work project went live on October 3rd, Jack’s b-day party on October 8th, Jack turned 1 on October 11th, then Nike was on October 14-17, then Halloween on the 31st.
Let’s just say that October was a hell of a month for me!

As usual, Halloween, to me, is the beginning of the Holiday Season. I actually really got into it this year and dressed up the house a bit. We of course went to the pumpkin patch and carved pumpkins and got dressed up. Greyson was into it but Jack, not so much. Next year should be SUPER FABULOUS!

I am almost done Christmas Shopping. I just have to wrap. I almost have my xmas cards ready to go out. I am ON IT PEOPLE. And I wonder why the hell I’m so stressed out! I will be bored once the gifts are wrapped and the cards are sent! Hahahahahahaha…

Me so funny.

Oh yeah…. I’m still trying to train for that damn marathon in January…. Oi vey!

can I tell you that I am drowning here?

Chrissy needs to get her happy back.
Ugh.... work is a mess
Home is a mess (kids are GREAT- everything else is a mess)
My marathon training plan is a mess
I feel so lost and miserable and don't know what to do.

Universe... come to my rescue please.

The one where Jesus gives me a box of steaks

I have been known to have some crazy dreams. I mean crazy dreams. I have thought about writing a book about my dreams because I think they are that interesting. This one though ranks up there as one of the wackiest.

So I'm at a warehouse and the people are showing us how they operate, etc. They bring out a bunch of huge steaks that are meant to be cooked for our executives. A co-worker of mine accidentally dumps them on the floor and we all react with "awwww... you are in soooo much trouble!" We start to try cleaning them off, perhaps to salvage them. I say "this is Jack in the Box, we don't serve food we dropped on the floor!"
Next scene: Jesus himself comes over to me with a box of steaks and says "these are for your mother." Then he says "Tony will be fine" (a friend of mine, not my husband)... and I say, "is he going to heaven?" and Jesus says "I don't know yet, he's still in processing."

I woke up feeling really good about the part that my friend was going to be ok. I have NEVER EVER had a dream with Jesus or anybody as important as Him in it. That part is VERY interesting to me. Overall, I'd say this dream is pretty wacky, huh?

I'm in one of those moods so there will probably be a lot of cussing in this post

I am at the hair salon. I'm irritated. I only get so many minutes per week that I can call my own. I schedule things precisely so that I spend as little time away from my kids as possible. I know, weird, but that's where I am in life. Anyway, when I make a 3:00 appt to get my hair did, I expect to start at 3, not at 3:30. They can't fake me out by straight ironing my hair before I get it cut, because I can see right through their bullshit stall technique to cover the fact that haircut lady is late. All I want is a plain old, all one length, straight cut. Simple. I have to repeat myself 4 times "cut it as short as you can while still allowing a ponytail.". That wasn't clear so I say "ok, my only request is that I HAVE to be able to have a ponytail, but otherwise cut it short." Still not clear. So I say... "I want it short, but it has to be long enough to pull into a ponytail." Nope. Still not clear. Blog readers, can you please tell me how to word this request next time so I don't lose it on the haircut lady? Shit. It's not a difficult request. In fact, I know I could get it done at Fantastic Sam's, when in fact I am in a reputable Aveda salon. Is it so simple that it is too hard for their overly creative brains to comprehend? OMG.
Then, because haircolor lady is running late, cutlady is doing some bullshit fancy cutting on my blunt, simple, straight cut- spending WAY too much time on each section that I'm about to fucking scream. Look, I'll pay you the $40 whether it takes you 15 minutes or not... Don't sweat it... This is a no-brainer. I'm a sure thing. Cut the fucking hair and go smoke a cig, just GET IT DONE! Color lady finally gets started and now my scalp is burning off. Ahhh, the things we go through.

Lucky boy!

In 5 short months JackJack can start eating bacon. Yummy! Does it come in a jar too?

so, the daycare lady calls...

let me just start by saying... nothing good ever comes out of that phrase. She never just calls to say "I just wanted to let you know how well the kids are doing today" or "just so you know, the boys ate all of their veggies today." Nope... it's always something that translates into cranky kids + missed work= sad mommy. This time the call comes in as I am on my way to get them yesterday. Whew. At least I didn't have to miss any work YESTERDAY. Turns out the big dude had a fever of 102+ and the little dude was basically cranky and fussy because he too has a cold. The daycare lady says "you'd better take them to the doctor because it's not going away" (from experience, I KNOW the doctor will not do anything unless the kid(s) has had the fever for 5 days). She, however, was like "they can't be here if they are contagious." That's understandable, if they had something OTHER THAN A FREAKING cold, because guess where they caught said colds? That's right. AT DAYCARE! Fine. I actually want to make sure little dude's cough is nothing more. I make the appointments. Turns out I couldn't get anything earlier than 11:00 a.m. today. Ugh. I go in to work for 2+ hours and come home. Husband takes the mini in for service because the engine light came on. No biggy. He is going to meet me at the doctor's office. I pack up the kids. Let's keep in mind that it is about lunchtime and almost naptime. A recipe for disaster if either thing doesn't happen. OK. I pack up the kids and am off. I need to stop for gas. I fill 'er up. I start the car. I go to put the car in gear and THERE ARE NO GEARS. Right then and there my transmission broke. Seriously? AGGGHHH....

Cue big dude screaming-

I don't know WHY or WHAT got into him, but it was as if he got scared or something? Did he also see those $$$ flying out of my wallet?

I call husband. He is on the way. I call the doctor to tell them we are running late. They say I can be 15 minutes late otherwise forget it. Damn flu season.

Husband must have called trusty neighbor, because he showed up. We move carseats and kids into his truck. husband arrives to take care of the vehicle. Trusty neighbor and I take kids to the doctor (luckily we made it with time to spare).

Mind you, trusty neighbor is there to help... but he's not "mommy" so I am essentially juggling both kids. The freaking nurse starts shouting out orders... "strip the baby", "strip that other kid", "weigh the baby", "no wait, weigh the other kid", "what do you want to do mommy?"

Are you kidding me lady? Pick a kid and follow through, this is YOUR side show... sheesh! I was so irritated. Then she had the nerve to say "can you make the baby stop wiggling so this O SAT machine will work? What? Wiggling is a baby's middle name, you meant to tell me that the guy who invented said device wants the kid to sit still? HA! Joke's on HIM!

Well... once the doctor came in... all was better... he knew what he was doing and surprisingly the kids didn't melt down as badly as I anticipated. Well... as I assumed, they both have the crud which is better than an ear infectin or worse.

We go home.

Turns out the Escape is probably not worth fixing, so we have to buy a new car... IMMEDIATELY. Aggghhh.

-----------------------------------------

(continued, next day)

I had to borrow the trusty neighbors car/tank to get to work today.

Oh, and I just found out that the husband has to travel for work, starting Thursday... for 3 weeks. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

it's a rainy day...

and Tony has the kids... yes BOTH kids with him at his mom's house. I honestly didn't know what in the hell to do with myself today. WTF? So I ran an errand, got an iced tea (an addiction I know), ran another errand, organized two kitchen drawers, organized my counter space, oh, make that three kitchen drawers, a kitchen cabinet, updated BOTH baby books, created and printed my Christmas labels (just waiting for the cards to arrive, yay), hung a few things on the walls, picked up toys and now am updating this blog! Whatever I'm on right now I need to bottle it and make a million. Sheesh. It's raining outside, which I am glad about... except it sucks that Greyson can't play outside. Legally Blonde is on the t.v. A GREAT DAY!

Christmas is in the air and although I may not put a HUGE effort into it this year (playing the "just had a baby card") I can't wait to go BALLS to the WALLS next year. I want to make the best memories for the boys year after year. That includes crazy decorations around the house... can't wait.

Thoughts about Christmas cards... how do you keep your list from not getting too enormous year to year? If you keep adding people you meet and know, that becomes a HUGE expense when it come time to send out Christmas cards... so... How do YOU decide who gets a card and who doesn't? Is it a matter of who sends YOU a card? Hmmmm... I love getting cards as much as the next guy... so what gives with those folks that don't ever send YOU one? Do you ditch 'em off your list? Is that rude? Thoughts people?

And, what post would be complete without some pics of the little men??

Stick a fork in me. I'm done.

I am SO OVER being pregnant. I'm sure this sounds awfully familiar to those last few days with Greyson... a lot of cussing going on around these parts and a lot of "anonymous" comments about how I shouldn't be cussing so much ON.MY.BLOG. Whatever. Hit that little red "x" in the upper right hand corner if you are not enjoying what you are reading here.
Sorry to vent but... that's what you get.
OK... so to start off... it's hot here in CA. Not normal "California sunny hot weather" but freaking HELL-ish hot weather. Like the world is ending hot weather. OMG! I am thankful that the whole summer hasn't been like that, but even just a week of it was impossible. Especially when you have a toddler who just like to be outside, even if he's sweating his balls off.

For those of you on the fence about having a baby... let me inform you of all the "great" things there are about being 9 months pregnant... in no particular order: **Fair warning- definitely TMI coming up**

• feet/ankles- you lose them. I can't remember the exact moment I lost them, but they are gone. My ankles are now just an extension of my calves. Lovely. My feet... I can barely fit into flip flops anymore. I don't have feet anymore, I have loaves of bread that I use to walk with.
• water retention- my skin is so stretched out from all of this extra fluid I am carrying it is sad. I touch my leg for example and there is a white mark left behind... like when you touch a sunburn. The heat does not help this situation.
• shaving of legs- just forget it. Besides the dangers of losing balance in the shower... I can barely bend over to reach all parts of the leg.
• shaving of other parts- again forget it. If I can't see it, I can't shave it... sure as hell ain't gonna try "blind."
• belly- ha. No surprise when I tell you it is HUGE. You don't appreciate your "thin" self more than when you have this giant beach ball stuck right in front of you. Bending over requires a sort of spread-eagle squat. You have to make room for your belly... so I sit spread-eagle too.
• belly button- I don't have a true "inny" so it hasn't popped out. It is just flat. Kinda weird to look at.
• shirts are no longer long enough- since nobody needs to be seeing this gross belly, I walk around tugging my shirt down to avoid exposing my bare belly to the world.
• boobs- big.
• weird skin tags and freckles and such- being of European decent, I have a lot of birth marks and what not. Hormones multiplies the number exponentially. You also get these "skin tags" that the dermatologist simply tells you to snip off with manicure scissors. Doesn't really hurt but it's freaky. I also have that "raccoon mask" thing you hear about. Basically I look like a raccoon. Lovely.
• Hair- I hear about women who rave about pregnancy hair. Mine started of looking mangy at first. Towards the end, it's not much better, but doesn't fall out as much. The fun part of this category starts after birth, when you hair falls out in clumps. Nice.
• Pooping- it doesn't help that we have to take iron pills, but man... the pooping is a problem. First of all... the poops are HUGE! Is this your body's way of practicing exporting something bigger than the escape hatch? WTH? Then... it's like doot doot doot do doo... all of a sudden you have to poop and you have to poop NOW. Not like, "oh, I feel something brewing, I'll poop when I get home." Nope. Doesn't work that way. When the feeling strikes, you've got to go NOW.
• Hemorrhoids- OMG... it's like your insides are now on your outside?? This crazy phenomenon has only occurred to me since getting pregnant. WTH is going on down there? Makes the whole pooping and wiping thing a bit more challenging. I guess it's from the pressure of the baby down there... not fun.
• Farting- sorry to say it but it's true. I'm not one to ever purposely fart b/c I think it's funny, but when you are this pregnant, it just comes out. No control. I guess it's from your metabolism slowing down or speeding up. I think it's from the baby moving so much, he produces a bunch of air bubbles inside and they need to come out. It's crazy though.
• Peeing- same thing. NOW is not soon enough. I literally can pee upstairs and walk down the stairs and need to pee again. Obviously walking, especially down stairs, produces more pee. So I get it, but the ability to hold it is GONE. Wiping is another story. Remember, you sort of have to bend to wipe, unless you have long arms. I don't. So it's a matter of several yoga moves to get the job done. Trust me, I get the job done. I'm not THAT gross.
• Sleeping- Ha ha. Jokes on you. This is pretty much non-existent. You can only sleep on your sides, and in this particular pregnancy, the little dude prefers only the one side. So, I "sleep" (and when I say sleep I mean lay quietly in the dark waiting for the sun to come back up) on one side for 8 hours. My hips, arms, ribs, back, legs, everything is either numb or in pain. I guess I prefer numb.
• Walking- I am in full waddle mode. I have to get up slowly and be cautious when walking. This belly is HEAVY! If I get up too quickly I may give myself a hernia. And I walk slowly b/c walking too fast is a) impossible and b)painful and c)tiring!
• Heartburn- OMG... I used to just get it if I ate too late in the evening or too much and layed down too soon after eating. Now I get it sitting straight up, all day long, whenever. Pleasant.
• I'm HOT- Not just normal hot, but boiling hot. If no one else lived in my house with me I would have the AC on full blast, set at like 65 degrees. No lie. Because I DO have other people living in my house, it is set at 75 degrees and I lie in bed boiling to death.
• Toddler- I have a 19 month old soon to be 20 month old toddler that still needs/wants to be carried around at times. Not easy. Last night for example when he woke up from a bad dream or something, I needed to rock him for an hour. AN HOUR, people. Not comfortable, not something I think I should even be doing. Then he thinks he can get all comfortable and spread himself over my body in weird positions, where it becomes virtually impossible for me to handle it for a minute longer. Moms deserve gold stars each time this has to be done.
• Tired- bottom line. I'm tired. Creating a new organ (placenta) and a new little person is exhausting. Pregnant women shouldn't have to do ANYTHING AT ALL, especially the last month. Stupid me is working up until the end. Why? Because I am stupid. I also somewhat think that being at work is slightly easier than carrying a toddler around or playing on the floor all day long. I have 8 work days left. We'll see if I make. it.
• Drinking alcohol- I'm not a huge drinker... at least I didn't used to be. I am craving an ice-cold Coors light SO BADLY. I also am craving red wine. My goal after this baby is born is to have a drink every evening as part of my "me time." Oh, and I want to start drinking coffee, mostly because I love the smell of it so much.

I think I have covered everything here. Have I scared you straight yet? Holy Moly. My own little pity party and you've been invited. I do have to say though that I've been good about not complaining for 97% of this pregnancy. Man, these last few weeks have been brutal though. Thanks for listening.

October 11th.... bring me a beer!

Sorry, again...

Haven't felt much like blogging lately... my anxiety has returned and I am just trying to take it one day at a time. I will try to post some pics soon. Overall the concert was great... and it was great to see it with Tina. I do feel like I am getting too old to be standing on the floor, battling it out for a better position at these concerts. From now on I think I will opt for a seat.

The Nike race was most excellent too. It was so much easier to do it this year, not being 6.5 months pregnant! It was a breeze... ha ha. It was nice to spend the weekend up in San Fran and just chill out. However, being alone, my anxiety got the best of me and I wasn't able to enjoy it as much as I would have liked to. Moving on.

use the DAMN bike lane!!!

As I'm sure it is the case in the development of most laws and fine print, etc., I believe that the city created a bike lane because those people that ride bikes must've complained loud and hard that they needed a place to ride their bikes alongside cars and next to sidewalks. Well... they got what they asked for SO.WHY.DON'T.THEY.USE.THEM???? Yes, 4 question marks because I am 4 times as confused as the normal person. WTF, Chuck? So there I am, running on the sidewalk... where people should be walking or running... and I have to dodge many a biker ON.THE.SIDEWALK. Look... you have your VERY OWN lane. It's even labeled. USE IT!!! It's SO irritating when there is a bike lane and bikers insist on riding on the sidewalk AND at a million miles an hour AND super close to us runners/walkers... MOVE.OVER... as in INTO YOUR OWN LANE ASSHOLE! I so badly want to hurl a stick into their spokes... but I don't because I really am a nice person. I thought it though.

Seriously? Why not?

{click image to enlarge}

man, and I've got nowhere else to put the kid...

click on the picture to get the true message (to enlarge and read the print)

Seriously?

There are people out there that ask some stupid questions... my friend Joyce just mentioned that someone asked her if she knew what kind of baby she was having... a human one we all hope. When I got married, people asked me how married life was... I thought it was a stupid question, although I got 'splained today that if the person didn't know that we were already cohabiting, then it is a valid question... FINE... it's a valid question. However... now that I just (almost 7 weeks ago) had a baby... the question people ask me... the question that I think tops stupid questions is... "How do you like your baby?" Seriously? Even if I were a horrible person and didn't like my baby... would I admit it? I happen to be a person that loves my baby more than life itself... and it makes me want to say DUH!!!!! Seriously? Can someone have a baby and then not like it? I can't imagine... at all. Not for a second could I imagine it. So... PEOPLE... stop asking me because I am proclaiming to the world (wide web) that I AM HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH MY BABY.