NY living in San Diego

Damn I suck at blogging.  I think about blogging all of the time.  I even thought I'd be able to do it from work on my lunch break, but they have the kabosh on blogger.com, so I can't access it on my PC.  It't too hard to do on my phone, so here I am.  A once a month blogger... if that.  Oh well.
The apartment situation is working out quite nicely.  As much as I miss being a home owner, it was super nice (& easy) when the light burned out, there was a drippy shower faucet, a broken heating element on my stove and a ripped screen on my sliding door.  Yup... just called the maintenance team and voila! it was done when I got home.  This is not a rip on husbands, but c'mon... how many husbands work that fast?  And it was all included in the rent.  So for awhile, until the wrinkles are worked out on my life... this apartment living isn't so bad.  Takes a lot of responsibility off of my shoulders.  Simple is better.

The running is still going!  Yay.  I am proud of that.  It's the first time since Greyson was born that I am BACK on the road for reals!  Yes, I dabbled in running and exercising here and there... 2 years ago I even tried to bring Greyson in the jog stroller... that didn't last.  It was HARD!  I was having a hard enough time just running, let alone pushing the stroller too.  Plus, I still wasn't getting a lot of sleep, so it was a challenge overall.  Now... the boys are with their dad every other weekend and that is when I do my long run.  I told myself in the beginning that what I could do was better than nothing and not to stress over what I wasn't getting done (training wise).  I get my "homework" in as often as I can, get my long run in every other Saturday and call it a day.  It's also nice to be a part of the gang again.  I realized that I REALLY MISSED that part too.

The boys are back in school (for them it never really ended... but it IS a new school year) and doing well.  I am still PTG president.  I thought for sure I'd be kicked out of office by now.  Nope.  I have totally bitten off more than I can chew with being the Fall Fest co-chair, a room mom and this PTG thing... but all will get significantly easier once FF is over.

The big burning question is about my love life.  Ha ha.  Things are still awesome in that category, I still don't want to jinx anything by talking about it... but IT IS GOOD.  One day I will tell the story... it's a good one.  I promise.  And just to set the record straight, this is not the same guy referenced in March 4th's post.  There was a changing of the guard in June/July.

Job is great.  Love it.

Jack is 100% potty trained.  What a difference that makes.  He turns 3 on October 11.  OMG!  My baby... ahhh... what am I saying?  They will always be my babies!

Here they are waiting for my first general PTG meeting to start.  My biggest supporters!

100 boxes

This past weekend was the definition of hell. Not really, it actually went pretty smoothly… I am just being dramatic. I (and when I say ‘I’, I mean the ‘Starving Students’ and when I say ‘Starving Students’ I mean grown, smelly men that do this for a living) ended up moving over 100 boxes of stuff along with a couch, table, and various other things a person typically has in their home. Can I say “I’m beat?” Well, I just did. Whew… now for the unpacking.




I start InMotion Fit on Saturday and I am super excited. I’m not sure if I’m just excited to be part of the running gang again or excited because I’m so excited about my overall life… I should totally take advantage of this energy and excitement and go on a speaking tour to motivate other divorcees… LOL, I’m so funny.



That’s about it for now… there are big things on the horizon… big, bright, awesome things… but I will not jinx anything by talking about them just yet. Plus I am trying to entice you to keep checking back so my blog stats go up!

Build your best life.

When I last posted a lot had changed... then I didn't post for awhile... I needed to sort out whether a certain someone was getting their information from a friend or what, so therefore, didn't want to post anything on the internet.  Now I don't really care, I guess.  I don't have anything to hide.  I'm not doing anything wrong and I still need a place to bitch about stuff.  So... here I go... another attempt at blogging.

I ended the last post with a big cliff-hanger...  I know you all have not been able to sleep because of it...  but aside from the birth of North West, the biggest news as of late is that I left my former employer (of 14 years) and am working at a new company.  I happen to LOVE this new company.  The company itself, the people I work with, the work I do...  love it all.

"Build your best life."  That is their "catch phrase" and it was exactly where my head was when I was interviewing... I took it as a sign.

And.... that's where I am today.  I am trying to re-build my best life.  It's a slooooooow process and DB, (douche-bag) is doing his best to delay my progress. I try every day to not let him get to me.
* note * It is not my intention to make things ugly between us, but I can honestly say that HE is the one that is making it that way.  He refuses to get along with me and has become the biggest ass-hole I've met in a long time.  This actually shocks me a little because I was led to believe that he would do what is best for the boys.  Treating me like shit isn't best for the boys.  However, I also refuse to continue to be the "nice guy."  Therefore, until he changes his tune... I will be an ass-hole right back to him.

Other things that have happened since my last post...

• Jack is about 75% potty trained.
• Both boys are 100% adorbs.
• I became PTG President, Fall-Fest co-chair and remain the pre-school room mom.  Do you think I will be busy this year?
• Sold the house.
• Am in the process of moving.  
• Looking forward to San Franciso... Women's Nike Half Marathon... 10 year anniversry

And because no post is a real post without a picture... here is one of the boys...

Single White Female

Uh, yeah!  That's me people.  Today marks the start of the rest of my life.

Today I am:

• returned to the status of "single person"
• a single mother
• divorced
• FREE!!!!

A lot of people said "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" when I mention that I'm going through a divorce, or today saying "I'm officially divorced" and I say... "don't cry for ME Argentina!"  Shit... I'm SUPER HAPPY!!!!

Yesterday's custody mediation went well.... as far as things like that can go.

Today I am exploring yet ANOTHER major life change... more to come...

WISH ME LUCK!

don't blink

*** I guess I never finished this post... so I am actually "posting" it on 03/04/13... but it's from 02/26/13

because you'll miss it... February is just about over...  I can't believe how quickly this month has flown by.

Greyson's party was great.  He was SO happy and he and his friends had such a great time, and the fact that my dad was able to be a part of the festivities made it that much more special.  The boys and I got to spend a lot of quality time with the Pops and it was awesome!  We even got to watch the SuperBowl on a new flat screen thanks to gramps.

Turns out A-hole served me up some court papers on the day before Greyson' party... so that was a pleasant little surprise.  Note... it was one week to the day that we had finalized all of the paperwork when he found out I was dating and decided to take me back into court to renegotiate custody, etc.  Interesting, no?  He says he needs to protect his children... I guess since I am dating, now I am an unfit mother.  Needless to say he did not come to the birthday party. 

My mom came in to town to help me with the boys because I had the BIG TEN gala to attend.  This is the boys' school's big fundraiser for the year.  Each class has to make a project that is auctioned off (I of course was in charge of that project...) and there is a huge $10,000 drawing.  Before that though, I got so majorly sick I thought I was going to die.  I even ended up in the ER one night at 2:30 a.m. b/c I was SURE I was dying.  If you know me you know that I'm not a puss... but man, I woke up and death was knocking at my door.  Obviously, I did not die, but I'll spare you the details.

THANK GOD my mom was around, b/c although I didn't get a "total" break... she was able to give me a bit of reprieve here and there... and even though I was on death's door... and because my mom was there to give me the "gift" of a "girl's day to myself ( and there was no way I was going to pass that up) I took Saturday and went to a crafty thing at Anthro, then went and got my nails done and then my hair.  The WHOLE time I was either freezing or sweating to death.  I had to go to this event, I just had to. 
Once we got there and I got over my initial "sweating" phase, and had a beer, we actually felt ok for a bit.  So we mingled and had dinner, sat through some of the auctions and left.  At this point I get frantically called and texted because we left RIGHT BEFORE the big $10,000 drawing and guess what?  I was int he top 10.  (They choose 10 people and then slowly eliminate...).  So we zip around and I come running back into the hall only to be the first to be eliminated.  Oh well.  For about 3 minutes I was elated!

I was able to sleep in the next morning and that FELT GREAT!!!! 

I ended up staying sick for another 2 weeks or so... it sucked balls.

I feel like I am in a witness protection program...

NOT that I would ever know what being in one feels like.

A very hard part of this divorce is that I have to watch myself around a huge portion of my "friends" out here since they are all also friends with the A-hole.  As their friend, I don't want to put them in a position where they have to watch what THEY say around the A-hole... so in turn, I feel like I can't tell them anything that is going on with me...
BUT... thanks to blogger, changing my blog address is as easy as finding a name that isn't already used but that still reflects the original name I came up with years ago.  I'd better stop changing the name because it's just getting harder and harder.  HA!

Anyway... the very few of you that got the "change of address" are my loyalists anyway.  I doubt anybody cares as much as I do... HA!

Oh, in other news... I am getting two new molars because apparently I am so stressed out that I ground my real ones down into nubs.  Sweet.  There goes my tax refund!

Peace out.

One of my favorite months.

I love February.  I love Valentines Day.  I know it's probably one of the cheesiest holidays, and everyone thinks it's a "Hallmark Holiday" but I don't care.  
This weekend will be a busy one.  My dad is flying in this morning (yippee!- I haven't seen him in a year, hello?) and tomorrow is Greyson's birthday party.  He got to invite 4 of his classmates to help him celebrate turning four at "Chuck-a-cheese"  (that's how he says it).  I had to give him a party this year b/c of the whole school thing and how excited he was to be able to invite his school friends.  I just couldn't deny him that excitement and fun.  It will be a small party but it will be exactly what he wanted.  He is beyond excited!

These last 4 years have been quite a rollercoaster, but everything happens for a reason and I was meant to be this guy's mother.  I'm no expert at being a mom..I've actually thought that the moment he was born and ever since then almost 4 years ago I've been open to the thought that I'm learning each and every single day. 
This little boy of mine is my son (it's so cool to say that) where I have to help shape his life, how he views people, situations, himself. I want more than anything for my little Greyson to have a good sense of who he is, to be confident, to have self love, to be strong, to have a good sense of humor and to love all those in his life. Right now that last comment is easy...he gets excited when I walk in the room. He doesn't care what I look like, if I've showered or not. He just smiles at me every morning when he wakes up, he smiles at me when I call his name or give him a kiss.  He's a happy little boy and I hope every day he looks at life with fresh eyes like he has done for the past 4 years.

For myself as a mom to this adorable little person...I did myself a favor and I put down the "how to books" and began listening to my heart. I know this little boy is growing up so fast..he's already reading and spelling in school. So I've made it a goal to really enjoy him at this moment. I may rock him more than most, I may opt not to get ready and just lay in my bed with this guy, giving and getting kisses, listening to his little voice tell me stories or about his dreams. I've always wanted to look back on these days with no regret and know that I've taken it all in. I'm just following my mother instincts.

As I was thinking about this post, I was rocking my little boy to sleep, holding his hand, kissing his cheeks. I looked over and saw this framed reminder of something someone gave me over 4 years ago.... I remember reading it for the first time and I bawled (most of it was the pregnant hormones that we are all blessed with) but it says it all and it's perfect and it still makes me cry...

"Motherhood is the best change your body will go through. 

When you're a mom, suddenly the world is hopeful, happy, an amazing place to raise your child. 

Memories are brighter, and every tiny second starts to count. 

You're measuring your baby in days, months, years. 

The mind of a mother is never her own. 

And now, as you have this little boy in your arms you'll see that you are his life, his example, his nurturer..perfect or not. 

And the beauty is, he doesn't care. He just needs you. Your love is perfect for him. And it doesn't change, if he's a newborn, 7, 28, 50... 

You'll always be his mother. What an honor. What a privilege. It's pure joy. 

You'll learn more about you everyday and you're going to be awesome." 

So from one mom to the next..enjoy that little babe of yours, try not to put yourself down and enjoy all the little and big things because they just grow up way too fast...good thing I'll always be his mom and I'm so blessed that he's always going to be my son.

Happy 4 years my little bugg-a-boo.

1/12th

Wow, we are almost 1/12 through 2013.

I had high hopes for this year and so far it is filling the big shoes I set before it.

Highlights:

• finished up the divorce paperwork (finally) and I will be returned to the status of a single person on March 9th, 2013.
• Greyson started taking Ballet lessons and he loves it.  It was his bday prezzie from me, but I let him start STAT to take advantage of the timing of the classes.  It's totally ADORBS!!
• Jack is talking more and more and it's getting more understandable!  Go Jack!
• Work is as busy as ever... or should I say busier than ever... just trying to stay afloat.
• I started my second year of Project Life and I still love that project and am motivated to keep it going through this year as well.

here's a picture from when my hair was long.  It is ever so slowly getting there....  ugh... I think it's growing soooo sloooowwwwlly this time around.  Remind me again why I thought it would be cute to cut it?

2012 can SUCK IT!!!

Man, I am super glad this year is over!  2013 has no choice but to be a better year.  I will have to go out on a limb and say that 2012 was one of my toughest.  I've been through boot camp... I've gone through field medic training with the Marines, I've hiked Yosemite for 7 days... the REAL way, I've had two c-sections and survived PPA twice... but man... this year is up there.  I should have known when we got stuck in an airport last new year's eve (for three days) that I was in for a treat.  This NYE I will be within the safe confines of my own 4 walls with my two boys and some sparkling cider (for them) and some Lambrusco (for me).  Nothing could be better.  Oh wait, my own cozy bed.  CHECK!

Out with the old... you bastard 2012... and in with the NEW, you lovely new year 2013... I have so many high hopes for you.  The only way to go is up, so I know it won't be disappointing.

Holiday Wrap Up

ahhh... if you know me then you know about my tumultuous relationship with two certain people in my life.  This holiday season did not disappoint.  Some highlights:

• when I was in the garage, one said person told my 3 year old that I was gone and not coming back.  That's a great example of some FINE parenting!
• the other said person got entirely pissed off when I asked said person to grill up some turkey burgers for the 3 kids in attendance for xmas eve dinner.  "It was not planned" he said.  This is whilst I have spent the WHOLE day cooking up a special xmas eve dinner.  The rest of the evening was completely clouded by his bad mood and attitude.  My friend and I were very uncomfortable the rest of the evening.  Thanks for a GREAT xmas eve!
• one said person, who happened to get an ipad for xmas (I gave it early b/c I was so excited to give it) ignored the kids from the moment said ipad was opened.  Nice.
• other said person fed their dog bites of everything from their plate, but lost his mind when my 2 year old gave the dog a cracker.
• same said person cared more about the bowels of said dog more than having fun with children.

Why does ANY of this surprise me?  I'm not, it's just that time after time I have hope that "this time" will be different.  WRONG again!  

This year my goal is to stand up more to the insanity and only worry about my kids and myself.  When will I learn?  Am I able to get away from it without causing world war 3?  

On another note.

I am proud to say that I have wrapped up (technically tomorrow will be the last day) 41 weeks of project life (I started late, but once I started I kept going) and plan to start a fresh year of PL with 2013. It's a really great and EASY way to document your life and hardly takes any time at all, but the results are so cool.  If you want to know more, just let me know.

On yet another note...

My "one little word" for 2013 is going to be FRESH.  Unless I think of a better one in2 days.

• FRESH start
• FRESH new attitude
• eat more FRESH and natural vs. processed foods
• FRESH beginning to a new chapter in my life.
• FRESH.

What's YOUR "one little word?"

I've had many thoughts...

It's been awhile, I know... but don't be scared... I haven't stopped thinking... I seriously just don't have time.  I don't know where these wonder-women find the time to take care of kids, work full time, clean the house, cook, do laundry and BLOG!  And especially during this time of year, where you add Christmas shopping to that list.  Oh, did I mention SLEEP?  I'm one of THOSE people that actually NEEDS sleep.  I function best on 8 hours.

I spent all day yesterday cleaning the freaking house.  The right way.  You know, floorboards and fan blades, and well, you know.  I am pooped!  I haven't even finished.  I have one more bathroom to do.  And I am procrastinating by blogging.

I actually took a mental health day today.  I TRULY do have this killer headache, but I needed some sleep.  UGH.  But I am up now and will attack that bathroom, and the 976 other things on my to do list.

One of my "thoughts" included this errand I ran last weekend (I do think about this blog all of the time)...

I am a recycler.  Besides helping the Earth, I like money.  And guess what?  Recycling can make you money!!

See...

don't even start on my Diet Pepsi addiction or bottles water thing.  I KNOW, I KNOW.  One thing at a time, ok?

another one for Jean

actually this would pertain to almost all of my close friends... it is pretty much a requirement in the friendship contract that you make fun of people right along side me...

When did I get like this?

Oh, the day Greyson was born.

This is for Jean

are YOU up for the challenge?

So, right before Thanksgiving I was challenged to run (walk) a mile a day from Thanksgiving until Christmas. I thought "no sweat."
As of today I have run (walked) a total of 1.5 miles.  I just started yesterday.

Clearly I was not motivated.  I am now, because after that 1.5 miles I already felt skinnier.  This is great!

Yes,  I wore jean shorts.  What evs!

Punch Love Drunk? I wish.

Someone at work called me "punchy" about 5 minutes ago.  I am going to choose to take that as a compliment.  When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, right?  When life hands me a douche-bag for an ex-husband FOB (father of the babies) I get punchy.  My only other option is to cry and I refuse to allow that DB to have that privilege.



.

I'm. SO. Tired.

I love my monkies and all, but if they don't stop waking up at 4 a.m. or sooner, I may be forced to sell them to the gypsies.  Just sayin'.

Atten-TION!

If you know what muster means, or if you've ever submitted a chit... then you deserve to be celebrated today....

Clearly this isn't working...

So I have come to terms that these blogs posts are NOT going to write themselves.  Trust me when I tell you... I am constantly thinking up blog posts.  Always.  I'll be driving and say to myself "self- this thought is a great blog post" and then life happens and I forget what I ate for breakfast and the rest is history.  SO.... once I catch you up on the happenings of me, myself, and my littles, I am going to approach this blog thing in a whole new way.  I am just gonna post comments or thoughts as they come to me.  Not necessarily a long ass story or life-changing post... just whatever.  I think I have always put the pressure on myself to post meaty, juicy, long posts and just never got around to it.  So, to catch you up on the last 6+ months... here goes:

• I am divorced.  It will be "final" in March.  At which point the courts stressed to me is when and only when I can then get re-married.  I say... hold your horses there county clerk, you think I'm gonna jump into this shit that fast?  Ha!
• My BABY turned 2.
• Both boys started school in that they go to a private, Catholic school (PayPal donations to the right please).  I actually LOVE the school and they are both absolutely THRIVING!!!
• Jack literally just transitioned into a toddler bed last night.
• Greyson has two girls he refers to as "his ladies."
• I did my 9th annual Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon a few weeks ago.
• I still work where I've always worked.
• We've been to several birthday parties.  Our social calendar is usually pretty full.
• My mom has come to visit several times.
• I turned another year older.  No need to name any numbers here.
• I'm on the PTG, am a room-mom, and am on several committees at the boys' school.
• I got a KICK-ASS tattoo....

Happy 1/2 Birthday little one!

Jack Jack is now a year AND a half.  OMG... where has the time gone?  And here he is... BUSTED because he climbed up onto the booster seat all by himself.  He like to live life on the edge!