Little dude is 7 months old. And about 2-3 months ago I started to get *that* feeling again. *THAT* feeling being one of anxiety and panic. If you recall, I was diagnosed with Post-Partum Anxiety (PPA) after the dude was born. It sucked and it was so bad that I couldn't bear doing it all over again, but I couldn't bear leaving dude without a sibling even more, so I did it again. This time around though, I thought for sure I would have escaped this dreaded disorder. But lo and behold... it's back! It sucks. I hate it. I am SO SICK of feeling sick, nauseated, anxious, and panicky. It's all I can do to just get through the day... work or otherwise. EVERYTHING overwhelms me. The thought of doing ANYTHING out of routine or off schedule panics me even more. Obviously I manage it by keeping things to a minimum... no extra-curriculare activities, sticking to a routine, etc. BUT... I still feel it. Some days are definately better than others.
WHY I CAN'T JUST BE ONE OF THOSE HAPPY GO-LUCKY MOMS???
So... if you are one of those people that I used to talk to a lot, or hang out with a lot ... sorry... but I have resorted to my cave for awhile... I promise to be my old self again one day.... soon I hope.
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2 comments:
I'm really behind on keeping up with blogs- just saw this post. I'm so sorry you're going through this again- I know how hard it was on you last time. Hopefully it'll disappear more quickly this time around. If I can do anything for you or if you'd like to talk sometime please feel free to hit me up. Praying for you sweetie.
XOXO
Who's a happy go lucky mom. most of us fake it until we make it. Hang in there, you know it doesn't last forever and that there is light. Love you
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