OMG... another place I can spend a lot of time (& money)

Check it out... what a GREAT idea... it's called WANTIST

for your little sports enthusiast- product review

This is one of the softest (and coolest) and most unique blankets I've seen... and I've seen a LOT of blankets. Teamees offers the football as well as a baseball, soccer ball, and basketball blanket along with burp cloths that are inspired by the fields these sports are played on. I've gotten excellent customer service from this company too. The version I have is the pee-wee and it is a very generously sized baby blanket. I am going to get the varsity version for my, now, toddler. The funny thing is that before I ever heard or had seen this website, G-man had attached himself to a "lovey" that is essentially this same blanket but tiny. The size of a small lovey. So when I pulled this one out of the box, he was amazed that his lovey was SO BIG!!! Funny!

fun website

These people take recipes and make them into art. So cool. Check it out.

Civil duties....

As of Tuesday I have been serving on jury duty. I tried posting from my iphone but the app I have keeps crashing... so, unless someone out there has an app that will work on an iphone with Blogger, the idea of blogging remotely has gone down the toilet.

I can't share details until after the trial, but I am on a jury and we are currently deliberating. I hope to be done by Monday afternoon.

Let me tell you this. My experience thus far has been excellent and I highly recommend serving on jury duty. Yes, the waiting sometimes sucks, but the whole legal/justice system is super interesting. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Try it. You'll like it.

re-inventing the school picture

I found this site while blog-surfing (via ohdeedoh) and absolutely LOVE the idea of changing the look of old school, school pictures. Here is a sample below (image from Stomping Ground Photography) ... and you lucky SOB's in New York can actually use this photographer.

ez iced tea

I believe I got this idea from Angry Chicken... but it works SO WELL and I Love it SO MUCH... I just had to pass it on. I love to drink fresh iced tea, but I don't always have room in my fridge for a big ol' pitcher of it... ya know, with the milk jug and OJ jug and 50 diet pepsi's in there, there's not much room left. So what you do is take a jar (I used a clean spaghetti sauce jar) and fill it with cold water, insert 3-5 tea bags and pop it into the fridge overnight. You end up with super strong tea. So you grab a glass, put maybe 1/4 cup of this concentrated tea in, add some ice and water and BAM... iced tea. What I love is that you can have a few different flavors going at the same time. Thanks Angry Chicken!

My new 2nd favorite band

mini mosh pit

us with the band

While in Michigan I had the privilege to have a kid-free night out with Tina. At a park near her house they have "Concerts in the Park" that are free and we decided to go. The band that was playing that night stole my heart. The band is called "Candy Band" and if you were in high school in the 80's, and happened to like punk music, and you are now a mom... you will HEART this band! They play children's music "with an edge" meaning they play it "punk" style. I seriously was singing along to the tunes and I didn't even have a kid with me. One of the cutest sights was the kiddy "mosh pit" formed in front of the stage. They weren't actually moshing, but that's what it looked like. Click here and then click on "fun" and then click on "download songs" (it won't actually download automatically) to listen to a few of their tracks.

Comedy Traffic School Proves Not to be so Funny

It is no laughing matter.  

Yes.  I had to go to traffic school.  I stupidly (I blame new-mommy brain) make an illegal U-turn.  My defense is that it was a recent change at this particular intersection... U-turns USED to be legal there.  I didn't get the memo and I obviously didn't see the sign (or the cop lurking in the bushes) and flipped a bitch, and got caught.  UGH.  I so needed this like I need a hole in my head.  So, I got a ticket (what ever happened to warnings to those of us with good driving records???) and waited for my sentence to come in the mail.  It did.  A whopper of a fine and in order to avoid any points on my record it was suggested that I go to traffic school.  I chose Comedy Traffic School.  It's pretty cheap and it was easy enough, except I didn't think it was very funny at all.  Just because they throw in some silly looking superhero as their spokes-hero, doesn't make it funny.  Oh well... I wasn't looking for comic relief anyway, just a way to avoid points and an increase in insurance.  It only took a couple of hours (if I had sat down and done it all in one shot I bet it would've taken at most 2) and I was able to pass the tests easily enough.  Check.  Mark that task off of my to-do list.  I guess I learned my lesson.  PAY ATTENTION CHRISTINE!!!!  Man, I haven't gotten a ticket in SO LONG.  Seriously, it's probably been at LEAST 10 or more years.  Crazy.  I felt so embarrassed about the whole thing too.  What a WASTE of money.  

Anyway... just another bump along this road of life.  If you ever have to go to traffic school, I recommend the one I used.  It wasn't too bad and like I said before, pretty cheap & easy.  

who says there's no such thing as a free meal?

I've seen this advertised on a reputable website... but not the Denny's website.  I went there to verify but I don't see anything pertaining to this promo.  So go there at your own risk.  Might be worth it though!

Chrissy tip

Hey... just found a site that offers *useful* tips for parents.  It's called Parenthacks.  Check it out.  I think they put up a new tip every day.  So far I've put two into use... and I've only been checking this site for a week or so.  Good stuff.  Check it out.

who doesn't love a freebie?

Hey gang... how much blog-surfing do YOU do?  Well, as of late I have been doing more than ever.  I think that it might even start paying off... well, maybe ONE of these days.  Anyway... what I have found is that some popular blogs give stuff away... for free.  Good stuff.  From really cool companies.  Admittedly, my main focus lately has been on baby/kid stuff, so this one blog I have been stalking may not suit YOUR needs.... but it's just an example of what is out there.  Hey, YOU might not want/need baby/kid stuff... but you could always give it to me (ha ha) or to someone you know that has a baby/kid, etc.  Anyway... check out Tangled & True...  they are giving something away everyday... and it costs nothing to enter except a few seconds of your time...  and you just never know... you could come out a winner!  Besides, it's a cool blog to check out even when they are not giving away free stuff.

Point is... it doesn't hurt to blog surf out there... I'm sure other blogs do the same thing from time to time.  In fact I KNOW they do.  So goforit... there are people out in the "real" world that make a living out of entering sweepstakes and the such.  There was even a movie made about it.

it's not a deal, it's a STEAL

any moms out there that want to save a bundle on cool baby items??  Check this site out...  my suggestion is to sign up for the RSS feed, so you get the notice in the morning and get first dibs on buying the item.  They sell out fast.

Forecast: Showers with a big chance of sun

Our baby shower was went smoothly and I think all had fun!  We are so blessed to have had so many friends and family join us to celebrate this new baby that isn't even here yet.  He is going to be one spoiled little boy!  The weather was almost too warm.  I was hoping for decent weather, but it ended up being like 80+ degrees out and most of us were too hot (a lot of guests dressed to be outside, not expecting it to be 80+ outside...)  what's up with this December weather?  Anyway... besides it being on the warm side... it was a great time.  We played the obligatory shower games (I actually think they are fun) and we ate a simple lunch and dessert included yummy cupcakes made by Jean.  Jean also made the favors (I helped a little), which were "cupcake" pincushions.  So cute!  The other part of the favor was a little bucket filled with blue, white and black m&m's which also had a little monkey magnet attached.  I just love party favors.  I love giving them and I love getting them... I hope our guests enjoyed these party favors.  Tony was there and I made him open the presents.  Anyone else hate opening presents in front of a crowd of people as much as I do?  Yikes!  I hate it.  I mean, I appreciate everyone's generosity and all... but I so hate having to open them in front of people.  I totally get the giver wanting to see the getter's reaction... b/c I am always the one saying "c'mon, open it" when I give someone a gift...  I don't know why I am like this.  Thank goodness Tony was there to take that pressure off of me.  I think he secretly enjoyed it.  Overall... an A+ event.

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**************************WARNING*******************************************

*** this next part is gross.  you are being warned.  if you don't***

 ***like talking about or hearing about  gross stuff, please ***

***log off now or move on to your next bog to read.  you've***

*** been WARNED!**********************************************************

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OK... so here is where life gets really interesting.  Why must I ALWAYS have a story?  OK... so as the party was wrapping up and the guests are parading out of my backyard, a really good friend shows up for the celebration (she warned me that she was going to be late, so it's ok).  She stopped by at like 2:30.   So, Jean, my mom, and I take a break from cleaning and chat it up with my friend.  What do I do?  I grab another bite of sandwich... that has been sitting out since 12.... in the sun...  I don't know WHAT IN THE HELL I was thinking... hello?  I work at probably the safest fast food chain on the planet and KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.  Anyway... as stated above, it was a warm day... the sun got to my head, ok?  As you will find out, it got to my sandwich as well.

So we visit with my friend and she heads out.  We finish cleaning up and I say good-bye to Jean and we (Tones, my mom and I) go inside to take a load off.  I, being the pregnant one, desperately need a nap.  I go take a nap (not really, just rest). Soon it's 5:00 or so.  The three of us decide to go to a favorite restaurant of mine for dinner.  I was hungry and I wanted a STEAK!  So we get there and I start feeling nauseous.  We order, I'm still nauseous.  The food comes and I am SUPER nauseous... even went to the restroom once just b/c I thought I was going to toss my cookies.  I was also getting shooting pains in my back and just couldn't get comfortable.  So far I think nothing of it all and just think that I have over done it for the day.  Ya know, just another day of pregnancy.  So, I end up taking about 3 bites of my steak and couldn't eat any more.  I had it wrapped to go and when everyone else was done with dinner we left.  

We were only about 5 miles from home in the first place, so it wasn't going to take us long to get home.  But wouldn't you know it... as soon as we pull into my neighborhood all I could say was "I'm gonna lose it" and that was all the warning they had.  Without an ounce of control I explode right there in the car (sorry Tony, but  I'm glad it was your car and not mine...).  When I say explode, I mean EXPLODE.  Don't make me say it... go ahead and use your imagination.  Tony stops the car and I continue vomiting on the curb.  When I think I have finished... all I could say is "what do I do now?" and Tony just says "get in the car!"  I was a flippin' mess!  I half sat on the seat and half held myself up on my arms (for obvious reasons) for the 2 minute drive to the house.  I immediately ran in and jumped into the shower.... UGH!!!!  I guess I'd better get used to this sort of mess... but hopefully not due to myself.  

I called L&D and told the advice nurse what was going on and she instructed me on what to do and what to look for and assured me that the baby is "just hanging out in there" and won't be affected my my (self inflicted) FOOD POISONING unless such and such occurs.  

The next 12 hours proved to be the worst of my life.  I had to puke about every 45 minutes for the next 7 hours, then it slowed down to every 1.5 hours for the remaining 5 hours.  Each time I had to rush to the bathroom b/c it wasn't just coming out of my mouth if you know what I mean.  I felt bad, but felt really bad for the little man... my gosh... he probably thought there was a war going on around him, and he wasn't far from the truth!  OMG!  I didn't sleep a wink.  I was too afraid that I would lose it in bed.  Needless to say Sunday was not very fun either.  I finally stopped puking by sunrise but nothing else went away quite yet.  I sipped water and gatorade, but could not hold anything else in.  Then the fever set in.  Again, I called L&D (I'm sure they loooooove paranoid first time moms) to make sure I wasn't hurting the baby and again I was still in the clear.  Finally I was able to tolerate more and more liquid, so that and some Tylenol brought the ol' fever down.  Eventually I stopped being debilitatingly nauseous and was able to get a decent night's sleep.  I called in today (duh) and am at about 60%.  I actually moved around a bit and stuck to the BRAT diet (Banana, Rice, Applesauce, Toast), although got nauseous again and got tired really fast.  I think I will live.  Lesson learned.  Chrissy tip- don't eat any food that has been sitting out.  Period.

Chrissy tip

Go here to get your FREE photobook from Snapfish  The coupon is ONLY good until Friday 11/14 11:59 p.m.  You get until Sunday to redeem it.

Create your own Muppet

Who didn't love the Muppet show when you were a kid?  I know I did.  Now you can have your very own Muppet for only $90.  I don't think that's too bad of a deal for a Muppet and a piece of your childhood!

So cool!

as promised...

here are some pics from the baby shower in Michigan.  (as always, click on the image to enlarge)

the cake...

the little baby on top of the cake... so cute... I couldn't part with him so I brought him home.... what I am going to do with him I don't know... but he's here!

the water bottles


the guests (minus the boys, who went to the bar)... please note the cool banner Tina made... brought THAT home too... it's going up in dude's playroom.

Diapers: a great find that helps the planet too...

Check out what I just discovered. These are FABULOUS!!! I just received the "starter kit" I ordered (to do my own quality check) and have found that we have a winner! I have been bothered by the whole disposable diaper thing, since they just sit in the landfills for 500+ years. Cloth diapers seem so messy and just, a lot of work! So then I came across these lovelies and I have found the perfect hybrid of cloth and disposable. The inner "pad" decomposes in 50 days or so. You can choose to flush if you want (there is some manipulation to be done so it doesn't clog your toilet, but still possible), toss them (since they decompose anyway) or, if you happen to have a compost pile, you can toss the pee pee ones in there (poopy ones should not go into a compost pile). Cool, huh?

I have found the new go-to "baby shower gift" for any showers I go to in the future. I think this is a great invention with not much inconvenience. If you pre-load the diapers, this system would also work for daycares (I think they require the use of disposable, no?). There is a TON of information on the website. Check it out here. There are some videos too... they are worth looking in to.

Chrissy(pre-race) tips # 2-25

This was taken from Runner's World (the commentary after each tip was taken from my own experience)

Before the Gun Your pre-race goal should be to arrive at the starting line relaxed and ready to run. Here's how (there's nothing worse than feeling like you're late... this is the time to become a planner... trust me!)

Lay It Out "The night before, lay out everything you'll need race day on an extra bed or the floor," says Greg McMillan, a USA Track & Field certified coach in Flagstaff, Arizona. With the race start still half a day away, you can think clearly about all the things you want with you on race morning. (I take this to the extreme and even lay it out according to how I put it on... at 3 a.m. this added step ensures that I don't have my bra on over my t-shirt.)

Travel Light Save yourself the post-race hassle of retrieving your supplies by not checking anything. Wear an old pair of sweats and a shirt over your racing outfit that you can toss at the start (most races donate the clothes). If you need to check your bag, don't put anything in your sack that you can't live without "Ninety-nine percent of the stuff gets back to the runner," says Dave McGillivray, race director of the Boston Marathon. "But one percent always gets lost in the wash." (You WILL want a pair of flip flops or something... hey, they're 2 pair for $5 at Old Navy. And bring something to wear afterwards... unless it's 90 degrees outside, I always get the post-run chills. Wet clothes+hot body= shivers.)

B.Y.O.T.P The longer the lines at the Port-a-Johns, the more likely the potty will be out of toilet paper. "So bring your own," says Rod DeHaven, 2000 U.S. Olympic marathoner. (No lie... and at the very least, wear underwear... it makes for good emergency TP... I've had to do it in a pinch, but it only works ONCE a race!)

Show Your Number Even though most races time with chips, you still have to wear a number. "Bib numbers show race officials that you are a registered runner," says Cliff Bosley, race director of The Bolder Boulder 10-K. "They should be visible at all times." Pin your bib on the front of your racing outfit with four safety pins to keep it from flapping around. (Plus this is the only way the photographers know who you are ... they are usually hired by the race committee and have no other way of identifying you. You don't want to spend hours scouring the "lost" pictures after the race. BIG TIP: Don't worry about having the number pinned to your "outer layer" (like if you're wearing a jacket at the beginning of the race)... you will most likely peel that layer off by the time you get to the first photographer.)

Secure Your Key Find someplace to stash your car key (note: singular), but not where someone might find it, like in the gas cap, on a tire, or in a hide-a-key under the car (sound familiar?). If the key is one of those bulky computer-programmed jobs, use the valet key instead, and slide it into a zippered pocket, lace it into your shoe, or use a Shoe Pocket, which is a waterproof pouch that Velcros to your laces. You could also hand your keys to a spectating friend--as long as he has a nicer car than yours. (Most water belts have a little pocket... and if you're an infraredder... you're probably wearing some sort of belt or something (to hold your gels at least) and aren't worried about shaving off 3 seconds of your time by not wearing a belt at all.) PS.. the reason why I always wear a belt (maybe with only 2 bottles instead of the 4) is because I've been to races where they run out of water by the time my infrared ass gets to the pit stop. Just at tip. Especially for small or brand new races! Stash Some Cash If you have money with you for an emergency, you won't need it. If you don't, you will. So pin a $10 bill inside your singlet. (Or stick it in with your car key)

Bag Yourself They aren't stylish, but plastic garbage bags do keep you warm and dry. "Cut a hole for just your head, and tuck your arms inside," says Bret Treier, cochair of the Road Runner Akron Marathon. (Or don't cut out a hole for your head and freak out all the other runners. JUST KIDDING). Seriously... it sounds silly... but it's easy to rip off (think sexy pole dancer) and doesn't cost much for how warm it keeps you. ANOTHER BIG TIP: Whenever I am ditching something (throwing something on the ground) whether it is my garbage bag or a water cup that I am still holding on to several minutes after the pit-stop... I try to toss it somewhere where the clean-up crew has to go anyway, like near a cone or a sign, or, HEY, the garbage can... I try not to make them make an extra stop just to pick up MY cup, etc.)

Warm Up Wisely If possible, warm up by running the first mile or so of the racecourse to get the lay of the land. If you can't do that, warm up on a nearby road or sidewalk, not in a grassy field. Early morning dew can soak through your shoes and socks. (uhhh... yeah, right... I'm guessing that if you are reading this you are an infra-redder and running "extra" is not on our checklist... I usually use the first 25 miles to warm up, really kicking it in for that last .2)

Line Up on Time Don't get there first, since the extra wait will only make you anxious. Instead, watch the clock and keep an eye on runners as they fill in behind the start. Then join in. Many races have signs showing you where to stand according to your predicted per-mile pace. Your race doesn't have markers? If you're hoping to run a four-hour (or longer) marathon, don't line up within 100 yards of a Kenyan. (It really does not help anybody if you line up at a faster pace than you really are. It's just annoying to the faster runners... as you will find out when you are dodging the slower runners ahead of you who didn't follow this same advice.)

Go As A Runner If you must dress up in a costume, "make sure it doesn't extend beyond your body so that it won't interfere with other runners," says Bosley. Elvis jumpsuit? Um, sure. Elvis cape? No. (I have nothing to say.)

And You're Off Once the race starts, there's more to think about than just putting one foot in front of the other. Wait! "Don't start your watch at the gun," says McMillan. Hard to resist, but starting your watch immediately will yield a depressing finishing time (we don't need THAT) since it might take several minutes to cross the starting line. Turn your watch face inside your wrist--to avoid an accidental bump that might activate the stopwatch--then hit the start button when you reach the start. This will sync up your chip time and your watch time, so you can accurately calculate your pace. Look For Room As you ramp up to race pace, try to achieve "daylight" between you and other runners, which is basically two full stride lengths. (Good Luck... you'd think they were giving away free F150's the way these people crowd you.)

Be Patient Don't bob and weave through the starting pack like a punt returner. You'll waste energy without getting very far. Instead, jog or walk with your arms slightly out to help you keep your balance. (But not like a plane... that's just silly) And be sure not to follow the guy with the headband who has jumped the curb and is sprinting ahead. The race gods will make him trip.

Drink Second The first water stop in larger races often resembles a crowded subway station at rush hour. As long as you're not thirsty, go ahead and skip it. "You don't want to trip or slip on someone else's cup," says Treier. "So move over to the double-yellow line and run right through." (Plus, if you're like me.. I have water if I'm THAT thirsty... plus this a perfect opportunity to shave off those 3 seconds... ha ha.)

Pass with Caution Runners with MP3 players likely don't know you're approaching. " (Hey... this is biased...) In a crowded race, runners need to have a level of consciousness about their environment, and people wearing headphones don't," (again... BIASED!!!!!) says Phil Stewart, race director of the Credit Union Cherry Blossom Ten-Mile Run in Washington, D.C. (That's why so many races discourage headphones.) So wait until they're done singing the chorus, then yell, "Passing on the left!" Make sure to give Mr. or Ms. iPod a wide berth--while making sure you don't cut anyone off. (DID they just call me FAT??? OK... whatever they're blabbing about on this iPod issue... just remember to shout out..."On Your Left" when passing in a tight area...)

Steal Some Airtime Look for TV cameras. If you spot one, move into an open space and simply point at it. Waving and shouting signals desperation. (And if you're running the Carlsbad race, they let the elite runners start early... so at some point they WILL pass you and you will have a chance to be on TV. Plus, if you're like Len... you can run with them for a minute and brag about how you ran the same pace as the guy who won (for 5 seconds) and talk to him a bit... but I don't recommend this.. save it for your finish line moment!)

Slow Down on the Side If you need to slow your pace, do so gradually and move to the right side of the road (or the left... just to the side), again making sure you don't cut anyone off, like the ex-Georgia Tech linebacker behind you. (a quick glance over your shoulder doesn't hurt if you're about to stop or start walking)

Hold the Hoorays Sure, it's easy to get animated when you're a couple of miles from the finish. You're almost there. Yet yukking it up expends a lot of energy. "I once saw my wife talking, waving, and blowing kisses," says Treier. "I yelled out: 'Save it.' She didn't listen, and she did not finish with a smile on her face." (.2 miles doesn't seem like a lot in the big scheme of things... but let me tell ya... .2 miles is a long way after you've run 26!)

Happy Endings As you cross the finish line, you're not quite done yet: the finishing chute stretches ahead. ( Don't just stop dead cold... people behind you will run into you... use that same courtesy you would on the course.)

Keep Moving Once across the finish line, runners are all striving toward a common goal--a cold drink and a shower. If you don't keep moving forward, you'll likely get knocked around. (And... once you stop, it will be so hard to get going again, so make sure you're where you want to be before you stop moving... plus, walking around after the race helps, especially if you walk right up to a massage table!)

Take the Wrap Worn like a cape, mylar race blankets keep the heat in. And if you're offered a sticker or piece of tape with the cape, use it to secure the blanket at the neck so that you can keep your hands free. Note: It doesn't matter which side of the blanket is in and which side is out. It traps your body heat either way. (You could also tuck it in somewhere or tie a knot. You will want your hands free to hold some water,and some snacks!)

Ditch the Chip If you've used one of those secure plastic ties to attach your chip to your shoe, it takes the volunteers about two seconds to get it off. "Another efficient way is to lace the chip into the shoe just below the knot so all you have to do is untie your shoe to get it off," says Mike Burns, president of ChampionChip. "If the chip is laced farther down, below the eyelets and along the tongue, you'll have to unlace the shoe to remove the chip." This will stop you cold. (Definitely use the plastic ties they give you... and definitely remember to give that sucker back... but they're usually like hungry bloodhounds when it comes to reclaiming their chip, so no worries there!)

Drink Up Even though you are no longer running, you need fluids to rehydrate and recover. Take some and keep moving. (It's the weirdest feeling... I feel so dehydrated yet I can't drink another drink... fight it and re-hydrate... your body deserves it!)

Wear Your Hardware Drape your finisher's medal around your neck. You need your hands for other things as you continue to move through the chute. Just make sure to take off the medal sometime in the next month. (I also suggest wearing it to dinner that night as well as to work the next day.. it usually scores me a free appetizer or a free drink at dinner and a lot of sympathy at the office the next day!)

Eat. A Little Get yourself some food, but "just your share," says Gordon Bakoulis, a running coach in New York City. You need carbs to begin post-race recovery, not to feed your entire extended family. Besides, stopping for extra food will only slow things down. And any leftover food is often given away to a charity, like a local food bank. (BUT BEWARE!!! Know your body and don't think you can just eat whatever... you might even get the Hershey squirts no matter what you eat! All of the blood in your body is in your muscles... not your stomach. Be nice and try not to shock your system.)

Find Your Family Have a prearranged spot to meet up with your family and friends after the race. Anything solid and immovable is best, like a tree, the front steps of a building, or Mike, who quit running three years ago. Don't suggest something like the middle of a field, which could be jam-packed with runners come race day. Next, make sure you spot your group before they see you. Now start limping (cue the sympathy violins). But do so with a huge smile on your face. (I also like to apologize in advance for any crabbiness my friends and family have to endure during and after the race. You will be so spent that you might not have the energy to be your sweet self). Also, don't be surprised if you burst into tears (especially after your 1st marathon)... I think it's a combination of pure joy and all the repressed agony coming out at the same time.

food for thought

15 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
By Dave Barry, Nationally, Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative onthe same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." HMMM... no comment

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. Oops.

9. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THIS ONE.

11. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

12. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

13. Your friends love you anyway.

14. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

15. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Chrissy tip #1

don't eat ANYTHING before being a judge at the next Jesse Jerome BBQ contest